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If you have, you are not alone. Many folks may not openly talk about this because they feel ashamed and weak. Instead they push it down and hide it deep within the bowels of who they are. This is often referred to as the shadow part of ourselves. It’s that part of us that we feel so powerless over or disgusted with, that we will protect it so that no one else will see it. As a result, many keep it tucked away because they are terrified of others finding out about it, and judging them or worse, leaving them. It is amazing how cruel we can be to ourselves. If we treated our friends the same way we treated ourselves, we wouldn’t have any friends. I used to teach positive discipline classes and I remember a quote that has stuck with me over the years. It is, “where did we ever get the crazy notion that in order to do better, first we need to make ourselves, our children or others feel worse?” That is a powerful statement, and unfortunately, so true! What I have learned over the years is that much of the behavior we coin as a “bad” habit has actually been a very clever way for many of us to survive in a life that is sometimes less than kind. Those of us who were born very sensitive, may have been born without a “fur coat” to protect us from the world. So, cleverly we picked up and adopted habits or behaviors that protected and served us well, until they grew bigger than us. These habits or behaviors are referred to as coping mechanisms, whose primary intention is to help us survive. That is a positive thing, except in overuse when they begin to control us and cause us harm. These habits can become so well ingrained into our unconscious, that without thinking we may indulge in them. It’s as if one were in a trance state and was asleep unaware of doing the habit. For instance, an emotional reaction to things not going well in one’s life could kick the habit into overdrive. These “old friends” have most likely been in your life for a very time when you felt that you needed ways to protect yourself. Going unnoticed for many years or perhaps a lifetime, many forgot that the war is over and that there is no longer any reason to keep acting as if there was a battle going on. So how does one put down a habit that has been controlling their life?  First, I invite you to bow deeply to that part of yourself that was resourceful enough to find clever ways of protecting you. Let that part of you know that the war is over, that you honor their protection, and that you are releasing it with love. Begin visualizing what you want in your life rather than what you don’t want. Begin to act as if. Say an afformation, which is a question that we ask ourselves. ‘”Why is it, that my life is so full of love, prosperity and peace?” “Why is it, that my body is healthy, strong and resilient?” Don’t worry about answering the question; let your mind figure it out. Act as if this is true with conviction and confidence. It is truly amazing how a gentle, compassionate act toward ourselves can release us from years of suffering. As you incorporate these different suggestions into your life, be patient with yourself. A habit you have carried a lifetime may take a while to release. Know that every time you catch yourself indulging in the habit, that you have brought it closer to your conscious eye. When we are acting from an unconscious place, a behavior can only be addressed when we make it conscious. So slowly, slowly and with patience watch those shadow parts of yourself surface and take in the light of your beautiful awareness. Seeking out a trusted counselor may also help to support and guide you as you release the habit and transition into a new way of being. Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites       |
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